Ready for your piece of Heaven?

Here on earth, we have a little something called a 401k plan. Misguided secularists work away their
lives, stockpiling their mannon, all in the name of making this world a bit more bearable for them
in the future. There's the key... what is the future? A few miserable years spent wearing out hip
replacements, shopping for bad hats, and driving poorly? No, the future is what lies beyond that...
in the Great Hereafter.

So, wouldn't it make more sense to contribute some of those dollars to making that
Hereafter really Great?

Here's the deal: Using divine inspiration and the U.S. Tax Code, we have determined exactly
how many pieces of silver you will have to shave from your gross weight in order to slip your camel
through the eye of the needle (if you know what we mean).
Use the handy form below to determine what your contribution should be.

But...before you do...there is a BONUS you should know about.

Just like a mortal 401k plan, once you are fully vested, you have the option of borrowing back from the
capital resources. We are not in the business of giving away money, though. We are in the business
of putting you in Heaven. So, when you choose to borrow from the fund, you receive not cash, but
a period of Certified Blessedness. That's right! For the period that you borrow against, it is as though
You are already past judgement.
You can do anything you want, and it absolutely WILL NOT count against you at the last call.

Can you beat that with a stick?

********* Hurry, now...COMPLETE THIS FORM **********
and get the Keys to Heaven, the Holy Washroom, and the Celestial Cadillac.